Write!

Lately, I've stopped writing. For newspapers, blogs, even FB.

I guess I'm lazy. Or that I've lost my mojo to blog. I've always been an avid writer & reader and yet, I stopped. I didn't read the papers. I didn't read blogs nightly, anticipating updates eagerly. I even stopped writing for NST.

Malasnya!!! I need to write! I have to write!!! Write write write!

I'm uncool, wat abt u?

I don't own a bunch of the latest gadgets.

I dress up like an apek. 3 quarter baggy pants, lots of pockets. Convenient and comfortable.

I actually chat with strangers while waiting at the bus stop rather than acting distant and aloof.

I don't have a fake accent ciplak-ed frm tv shows.

I dun hv a bloated FB account. I actually kno all my "friends" thr.

Heck, I tink my mum's cooler than me!

Bluek =p

Do people cry more when they lose the love they had for someone...

Or do they cry more when they lose the love they had from someone?

The moment.

Note: Cerita ini tiada kaitannya dengan hidup mahupun yang mati. Sebarang persamaan tidaklah disengajakan XD

And dun ask me why dis story ni kluar frm my mind. It's random!

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I rmbr clearly, the initiating culprit being me. You were entering my room, fresh from the shower. Water droplets rolling off yr body. The air, foul and impure, separated from your pure skin with nothing but a thin towel. U walked towards yr clothes, blowing in the breeze.

And yet, I couldn't resist a little one. Just once more.

Eyes locked, refusing to look elsewhere. Lips curved gently, gentle corners leading to seduction.

"Come over here."

Our eyes broke contact, if only to savour the moment. Lips stopped creasing, but only to create the moment.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

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Apa kebenda aku dh taip nih?! LoL =p

Emotions

They're a weird thing. Indescribable. Powerful.

And sometimes, you just have to let them out. The release really helps you alot...screw those who stare or condemn you =p

Btw, Hachiko's damned nice! I loved it!

Of rhymes and companies~

I tink I'm a pretty accommodating fella.....I cn be quite patient sometimes.

But I guess there are limits. And when my limits are crossed (siapa ada clear proof lagi), nahas la kau. Tak payah la nak deny2. Orang lain pun nampak & dengar la weh.

Nyek nyek =p

Nothing?

Sometimes, I'm sure we wonder about our significance in this world. Ok....perhaps that's too big a topic.

Do I mean anything the people around me? Am I actually contributing something useful to my friends, my colleagues, my family? Neh....I wouldn't kno for myself....dey'll be the one judging dat question for demselves.

Watever it is, I'm still determined to help ppl as much as I cn. Even if I look like one helluva psychotic overeager slave doing menial tasks, I'm happy as long as I can help. I'm not dat eager for 5:30p.m. to arrive, dashing for the office exit door anyway =p

Walls

What do you do when a friend shuts you out for no sudden reason? It's as if there's a wall which just appeared between the two of you, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I guess it hurts. I really want to reach out, but I can't.

I love!!!

My internship at BMD has been one helluva blast la so far. Satu office baik...bes giler!!!

I'm pretty sure I won't regret my internship here XD

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy birthday to me,

Happy birthday to me,

Happy birthday,

Happy birthday,

Happy birthday to me!!!

(Ya....I kno....syok sendiri....)

I tink I'm d youngest person in d Bursa building la. Blek! =p

School!

Well, typed this quite some time ago. Copy paste je kat sini sbb tgh exam lg...huhuhu....

SCHOOL. This word alone sends countless Malaysian students grabbing the nearest book, running for cover, or in some unfortunate cases, turning hysteric. I’m sure that some naysayers will be exclaiming: “What nonsense!” but wait! Try taking the test below:

I confess that I’ve experienced:

Conveniently ‘misplacing’ my homework as I put on a great show of digging through my bag, knowing all too well that it’s lying at home, pure and untouched.

Wishing that Mr. Procrastination would help my assignments complete themselves.

Losing ‘quite a few’ strands of hair due to involuntary hand movements while answering a test or revising for one.

Staring intently at the exam paper, hoping for answers to magically appear while chanting curses involving the examination, examiner, and examination board.

Laughing gleefully while walking past seniors or juniors studying for a major exam.

So, how did you score?

At the very least, Malaysian parents can rest assured that their children will be well trained, both physically and mentally. Consider this: school kids have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, combat sleepiness during lessons, and prepare to sprint to the cafeteria to avoid the recess crowd. After adding multi-kilogram schoolbags, extracurricular activities, tuition classes, and other factors into the equation, I can’t help but wonder why I’m seeing more and more obese kids these days.

Mentally, these young adults gradually develop strategy-planning skills worthy of Sun Tzu’s approval. Armed with a meagre 24 hours a day, students have to juggle classes, homework, extra classes, extra homework, tuition classes, tuition homework, and yes, EXAMS. Undoubtedly, kids these days are far tougher than they look. Try touching that pint sized girl and you might end up with a taekwondo demonstration, complete with the finishing touches of her deadly fingers toned by piano, violin, and countless musical and art classes. To add icing to the cake, try taking into account that potential weapon she’s wielding (the godly HUGE sack of books!) and you might think twice before touching or even going within a 10-metre radius of her.

These days, knowing the exam format is just as important as possessing the ability to swallow textbooks (metaphorically speaking). In addition to the usual WHAT, students are also expected to know HOW to answer exams in order to score higher marks. Surprisingly, I have yet to come across a reference book on exam formats. Hmmm....potential bestselling book idea anyone? I’m sure Malaysian students will fling their novels on bloodsuckers and hairy beasts if they spot this next must-have reference material to add to their mini library at home, wouldn’t they?

All in all, we can see clearly for ourselves the multitasking, multi-talented superhumans that Malaysian schoolkids are turning into, under the kiasu pressure of our society. Makes me feel thankful for the carefree life I had in school last time. Takde la pressure melebih2 cam ni. We were more concerned over saving our ass in a game of Tan Duduk or making that jump in Tenteng, rather than pondering over our tuition schedule for the day.

Thus, the next time you see a child in a school uniform, do not take the kid lightly. That kid’s time management skills may put most adults to shame. Even that suspiciously bloated schoolbag may turn out to be his daily cardiovascular training and muscle toning tool. Now...who says our young generation isn’t getting enough exercise? Just don’t bump into that kid by mistake....a physical trashing of a lifetime may lie awaiting....

Wolf?

After countless times of watching a person call wolf (or technically call bluff), I guess it'll eventually be ingrained in my mind. Not that I can help doubting the person, can't I?

I guess it's my fault. After all, I'm supposed to give unconditional love and trust to my dear friends. Regardless if they have the tendency to perform a full-blown lie flat in front of my face often.

The agony of trust. And of course, lingering effects from a distorted sleep schedule.

EEEEEEEEWWWW!!!

Yes, she's daring. I find it fine that she chooses to be who she is. And do what she wants to do with herself. Pretty daring, intriguing, and interesting.

Except for this. Disgusting!!!

And yes. It is MEAT. If you can't get more of this, CLICK HERE!!!

AS in UTAR

Zahidah Aimi bt. Mohd Zaki!!!!

Tonite marks the departure of Miss Z...pergi overseas....huhu.... T_T

I've known her since primary school....bak whn we were only 8.

Lompat PTS sama2.

Masuk kelas sama lepas lompat.

Pergi sklh menengah sama.

Duk kelas sama all d way til Form 5.

I remember the countless nights we chatted on the phone sampai parents kita marah. Almost a nightly affair, wasn't it. We even discussed whether nak lompat PTS together. Nmbr tepon rmh siap tepek lg kat otak aku. Entah ler dh brp ketupat kita wat kut tepon.

I remember dropping by your house countless times, occasionally unannounced. Just for the sake of hearing you scream and run into a random room to grab a tudung :P And no, I didn't peek. Saja nk wat mu jerit XD

I remember your first love. And everything that followed.

Zidah Mimi. Zaiton Sameon. Cik Dene Pewe. Aku ingt blaka nama2 glamour mu.

Take care & hv a safe trip, k? I reli reli look forward to seeing you next year!

Supporters/Stalkers/Followers

Thanks sooooo much for the support!!! I reli love all of u :D

I've been getting msges frm secondary schl frenz, my family, my uni frenz, my mum's frenz (si mulut besar tu!), even strangers!

Well, there was one stranger who stood out in particular.

She read my article and somehow, it 'inspired' (yeah, dat's d exact word she used!) her. Decided to search for me on FB and voila! Apa lagi....add la!

Apparently, she shared the same sentiments regarding d stuff I wrote on. Imagine this la....tengah2 dia peluk her Indian frenz, tiba2 ada org ckp "Eee....tak geli ke?". Such horrible ppl......babi betul!

It's sad how our nation is occasionally portrayed as disjointed, while in fact we're just fine. Orang kat bawah ni ok je b'campur aduk. Ada je a few stupid fellas who can't get the concept of unity. Heck, we dun even bother to mention the word "unity". There's no need to mention it when we don't bother differentiating something which already exists naturally. It's like....imagine referring to each other as "humans" on a daily basis. Redundant cz we're already dat, rite? Sama je wif d word "unity" for most of us. Tak payah sebut la weh.

Well, thx lots and lots 4 d support. I can't thank you guys enough la weh. Oh, btw, in case ada insan2 yang tak beli paper tu smalam (how dare you! T_T), here's the link.

Click here!!!

Once again, thanks!!! Hope to write more soon~

My Debut Article!!!

BUY NST TODAY!!!

My first ever published article keluar la weh :p

So, apa tunggu2? Buy, jangan tak buy!!!

Can't fool me, you sneaky little pest.

For the record, consoling yourself by repeatedly saying "I'm not lying, I'm just telling part of the truth and concealing the rest." ain't gonna work on me.

Especially with my detective-like tendency to piece clues and figure out what you're unsuccessfully trying to hide from me.

Random.

You guys/gals know d Bimba & Lola shop rite?

Try switching the 'a' from the first word wif the 'o' from the second word. What do you get?

LoL :p

Zee Avi

I spontaneously bought Zee Avi's CD

MY FIRST VERY OWN ORIGINAL CD!!! AND I'M PROUD OF IT!!!

(Pic taken from Googling around, http://ilaizaiah.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/zee-avi-kokokaina/)

Her album's damn good, I tell ya!!!

Tired. Super tired.

Walk walk walk walk...hunt for books......walk walk walk walk.....hunt for shoes....walk walk walk walk....hunt for food....

On another note, I'm super proud dat 2 girls complimented on my conversational Malay. Damn gud wor....dey were confused cz I sounded like a Malay yet looked like a Chinese. Hehehe....aku siap guna influence aku 2 get extra stuff & better service in both shops....blek :p

Sadly, some aunty called me uncle today. How dare she. Her kid was blocking me, and she said "Eh....move aside...uncle wan 2 pass...". I stared. Then she corrected herself "Move aside la....gor gor wan 2 pass...". Itu baru betul! Kan aku buat anak kau motherless baru tau. Cekik kau.

Dear Spammers

Dear email spammers, thank you for providing me laughter pagi pagi ni. I know that in an effort to trick people into opening your emails, you try to use names which the unsuspecting humans might relate to. For me....it might be Yong ___ ___ perhaps?

Or perhaps "icywhinytiger"?

OMFG-HAHA-ROFL-MAO-LMAO-ROFLMAO-LOL!!!!

Bengongnya la korang ni. Nok sangat copy "family name", galok ngat nk tipu aku konon. Mentang2 email aku icywhinygnome, ko ingat ko pakai letak nama haiwan nk ganti "gnome" tu blh tipu aku eh? Bengong :p

Happy Merdeka Day!

Happy Merdeka Day guys!

As much as I wish to fill this post with inspirational material, quotations and such, I believe some things have to be said.

I fear for our future. I fear for our unity. I fear for our country.

If only we could turn all our politicians into nice, sweet, clean people with a wish. Heck, I'll do it even if it were to take several wishes. Almost any issue can be politicised nowadays. With a little media coverage, hot comments, and finger pointing, a big ruckus can be created. Throw in people who say what they want to say whenever they want to say it and voila! Major verbal (take note, usually VERBAL only ) chaos will erupt.

Since my school days, I've been observing these happenings and yet, I still remain unfazed as I once was while munching on my keropok (no flies hidden inside, unlike the Hakimah's poor fate once), carefree during recess in school. After all, these things tend to adhere to the time-tested Malaysia cycle. (forgive my cacat-ed attempt at sketching)

After awhile, the major issue will boil down. And Malaysians will move on to another local delicacy to pop in the kawah.

Btw, the 49/69 in the photo is the reserve at the beginning of the 10th year for a fully discrete 10-year deferred life annuity-due on (50), with premiums payable at the beginning of the year for the next 19 years. Oh, ya, as usual, premiums are based on the equivalence principle.

In case u're interested,

ä_50:10 = 6.9

ä₅₀ = 11.3

₁₀E_x = 0.44

q₅₉ = 0.012

i = 0.06.

Back to the topic. Seeing how issues regarding race constantly pop up in our media nowadays, I really hope that we will remain united, without any segregation in the future. After all, each and every one of us helped build the Malaysia that exists today. Questions and statements meant to jolt our minds into action are fine, but mere comments thrown in just to add to the confusion and for the sake of fame should be cast aside. Please. For the sake of our country, not your bloody media coverage.

How I cherish those days when our gang of teenagers sat in class, oblivious to the school's constant reminders about eating in class during recess. Everyone shared their food. Everyone respected each others' sensitivities: no pork, beef, or occasionally meat (when a certain Ugly Betty in class went vegetarian). (Does anyone miss my mum's delicious pizza buns?) We discussed current issues, without the backstabbing and finger pointing. Everyone had a chance to speak, without fear of isolation, gang-bashing, majority crap, or being put behind bars. We had our mini freedom of speech, we used it thoughtfully.

If only our politicians could do the same.

Well, Happy Merdeka Day everyone. I'm watching fireworks in KL now. What a view! All these colours mingling and uniting together to provide a beautiful sight for people from all backgrounds, regardless of their skin colour, their children's religion, or their forefathers' place of origin.

And THAT, is my beloved Malaysia.

Violent Dreams.

I dare say I'm getting more psychotic every living minute. Gone are the days where I used to dream blissful, "U"-rated dreams.

They're all PG13 at the minimum nowadays. My dreams tend to involve lots and lots and lots of violence. I tell u, d number of headcounts is....uncountable. To think that I actually enjoy killing people in my dreams.

Beware of the short, unsuspecting geek/kid here. Pusing skejap & I'll be on u, ready to twist yr head :p

It's ok

It's ok, I understand.

It's ok, it's your prerogative.

It's ok, I'm actually happy for you.

It's ok, you have to strive to make it work.

It's ok, though I'll secretly hope it doesn't work :p

It's ok.

Don't feel bad. Seriously la. No strings attached, just simplicity. That's all :^)

Flowers!!!

We sold flowers @ d UTAR convo ystrday!!! Damn tiring, exhausting, and life-draining la weh. But fun. I'd say I've learnt quite alot from the experience.

Too bad it was on Saturday, not Sunday....hehe....

On another note, I found myself thinking quite often: "Kesian those UTAR lecturers and staff.....hv 2 endure this so many times, again and again and again while they work in UTAR...."

Well, too bad for them. I actually dread my convo day. Scared I'll cry cz I hv 2 part wif my frenz T_T

No matter how many times I tell you, you still do it.

Yes, I am weak. Easily hurt over such things.

Yes, you are right. You didn't mention it directly.

No, I am not over it yet. I do not deny that fact.

No, you are not bad. It's just casual to you.

I will endure it. I'll force myself. After all, I believe you're doing it for a reason. Even if you don't I assume you are. I have to toughen up rather than avoid it.

Oh, ya, looking forward to seeing you someday soon. Missed the long chats and "torture sessions". By the way, congrats regarding your achievement this weekend. I'm super happy for you, though we aren't that familiar with each other. Yet. :p

After all, I still enjoy our petty, amusing disagreements. You win.....this time XD

Wah.....

I sucked in yr test. I failed epic.

But I'll try my best this time.

I love FE!!!!

DDR!!!

I LOVE DDR!!!!

Hari ni kan....while bathing....I realised dat my calves were not flabby!!! I didn't realise it before cz their size still sama....ingatkan lemak....

It turns out dat my DDR sessions have paid off!!! Sukanya XD

Well, off to do assigments & study. Mid Valley DDRX...here I come soon!!!

Depressed.

This feels like Linear Algebra in Year 1 Sem 1 all over again.

I don't know a thing about what I'm supposed to know. It's as if the notes are meaningless to me. I can read the questions and solutions over and over again, yet it doesn't help. Still nothing. Tak faham langsung.

This hurts like hell, especially when I know how much effort my lecturer has put in, attempting to teach the whole class.

Quote: There's constructive criticism. There's destructive criticism. And there's Miss K.

It hurts each week. We enter class, fearful of our lives. The atmosphere is so sullen. Gloomy.

Despair.

It hurts each week. The words just ricochet around, hitting us poor souls. The void we hoped to fill through education, the skills we wanted to learn, to gain, to experience?

The emptiness just got bigger. Darkness filled with nothing other than more darkness.

There lies a fine line between plain criticism and carefully worded constructive criticism. Yet, some fail to notice the huge chasm between harsh words and kind words. Creation and destruction. Encouragement and demotivation.

It hurts each week.

I'm a Facebook addict!!!

Yup, I came out in NST....my second time!!! Brings back memories of my PMR day.....but wat da heck, I'm officially a FB addict, officiated by NST :p

I've grown accustomed to my eye-popping-green, bright calculator.

Yes, this one.

Even d sight of any1 else using it, & I automatically hv d idea "Actuarial Science!!!!". I wonder whether students frm other courses actually use it or not....

I guess I've abandoned my trusty Casio FX570MS after its battery died....tahan for more than 7 yrs weh...since primary 6.....

I believe she's evil at times.

Yes, others may not be so lucky to have a very good grasp of English as you. But dat doesn't mean dat u cn slaughter dem mercilessly like wat u're doin now. Kesian dem.....getting shot by u in front of their clazmates.

Kejam. Kesian.

I seriously hope I cn help dem la. I hate watching their sad faces. It's like dey wait weekly to attend a bashing session. Yup, criticism can help one improve.....but nt so mean la, k?

T_T

Tidak Mengapa

Akhirnya kita bertemu jua

Setelah sekian lama

Meskipun ku terpaksa

Pengorbanan masa hanyalah sementara

Tidak mengapa

Namun ku hampa

Semuanya angkara si dia

Panggilan si jejaka

Mencuri waktu kita

Ku menanti, setia

Tidak mengapa

Mampukah ada pertemuan kedua?

Atau hanyalah hampa?

Mengharapkan kegembiraan sementara

Berulang semula

Ku hanya mampu menanti masa

Tidak mengapa

Raindrop.

It's pointless, I tell myself

Embrace it, feel the rush

Cast fear aside, bask in the moment

Accelerating, exhilarating

Closing in, gaining momentum

Soon it shall be over

Yet the end is but the beginning

I shall be reborn, ready once more

Then I shall take the leap once more.

Hmmm....kenapa ya?

Well, kena tag by Miss Ain so I guess I hv 2 explain myself. Basically, I hv 2 tell readers (if thr r any T_T) d reason 4 my blog's name

Why Agendum Arcanum huh? Well, d name speaks 4 itself. If u try finding out d meaning, u'll c wat I'm saying.

My exterior and interior self are very different. Even some frenz kno dat I hv several "personalities", which can "pop up" randomly. Pretty creepy huh?

Anyway, I reli cn directly give u d meaning of Agendum Arcanum. It'll defeat d very meaning of d name. Hey...wait....did I jz give u its meaning indirectly? I dunno la =p

Quoted from The Big Bang theory:

(Leonard wants to throw away his colectibles)

Penny: Look, you are a great guy....and it's the things you love that make you who you are.

Howard: (staring at Penny's chest) I guess that makes me "large breasts".

Epic show.

What happens when you try really hard yet your results don't seem to justify your efforts?

Yea, it hurts. Others can score better. Others can criticize you. Others can offer to help. Others can just watch you, not daring to say anything about it.

Yet sometimes, they just don't know what's going on in your life. They don't know whatever troubles you may have. And it's not their fault.

It may be something bugging you, which you won't even bother telling others coz u know they'll just shrug it off. It may be a family problem. It may be anything; you're just helpless to tell others coz you know they can't help and you don't want to bug them with your problems.

Or, it might just be that annoying pain in your head which refuses to go away and intensifies when you're really trying to do something useful like study. Talk about devils and demons in your head. Utterly annoying but hopefully not incurable.

Whatever it is, I guess we can only hang on and continue to do our best. C'est la vie, they'd say.

It called out to me

Beckoned, awaiting

White rays embraced lovingly

Gently caressing, reunited

I strolled slowly, tearfully

Savouring the warmth

For ages I have awaited

Reunited with The White Rod of Bliss!

But

Venomous mists, jealous

Clutching, snatching at me

In vain I evade

And yet, no escape

Whirlpools swirl in my mind

And gleefully, they succeed

Relentless, merciless

Corrupting my flesh

As my insides burned with searing pain

This giant crushed me externally

Gentle, subtle, yet brutal

Actions betraying his soft voice

Fearful eyes from far away

Gasps and sighs resonate

Fears will only rest at my death

For my pain is for their gain

And then, I fall

Deep into the darkness

Ironic, for just moments ago

I bathed in white light

A final stumble

Wings limp, yet I fly

And then, forever gone

The end.

After wat seems like ages, akhirnya I muster d energy 2 type sumtin here la. Lazy betul. Exams reli sapping my energy, especially ASM. Can't wait 2 finish it & lay my hands on my beloved Microecons textbook. Macam baca buku cerita.

Here's my prediction: I doubt dat I'll manage 2 score a B or even higher for my ASM. So, I'll prolly hv 2 repeat it 4 d sake of dat VEE thingy. Nvm la. Jz try my best. I jz hope I dun bcome a zombie permanently (yea, I'm alredi experiencing it now) dus 2 dis sub. Super annoying la wei. It's nt dat I totally dun get it, it's jz....I'm nt interested. Sorta hate it actually. Prolly cz I dun c any fun or meaning in it. Mayb cz I despise d lecture sessions. Mayb cz of d large claz. Mayb......we're jz nt meant 4 each other =p

Anyway, dat's nt stopping me frm going on. Fight jela, ya?

Oh, ya, if I nid a break or a laugh frm all these stress, thr's always a nice giant in d hse wif his antics. Sorta fresh 2 hv a guy in d hse, dah 2 biasa surrounded by 4 girls all d time. Well, especially a guy hu has no qualms abt squealing like a *****, hitting girls, causing my wife 2 kena miscarriage twice, and last bt no least, imitating d dance moves in Bo Peep Bo Peep (T-ara). Dat last one has definitely got 2 b captured on video one day. Epic.

Random Writings

Well, nothing much to ramble, bitch, whine, or crap here. Probably cz d timing's weird. Malam2/pagi2 cam ni sibuk nak taip....

I know I'm brash when I bash sometimes

My harsh words can be too much

Yet my aim isn't to maim everyone

Usually, there are only a few lonely souls

These people are the incomparable ones

They don't belong anywhere among us

It can be anything, all it takes is a blink

For these flies to spin their webs of lies

Sadly I can't conjure a useful cure

Killing this cyst, this horrible disease

For they alone can choose to atone

As their own harm lies in their palm

My interference is of dismal influence

So I shall observe and hope to preserve

What little knowledge I manage to gain

To prevent my own descend

Into the depths of which I might misstep

For I want for this to be undone

The pages replaced, faults erased

But alas! Time has passed!

You are impeached, my trust breached

I doubt any readers will grasp my acrimony

But I guess these are all just countless tests

Tough lessons showing me prevarications

Teaching me to strive for my own precious life.

I seriously dunno wat I've jz typed. Memang psycho. Kononnya rhyme tapi tak rhyme. Rangkap pun tak sekata. Ayat pun entah apa. I'd reli like 2 c whether any1 actually notices the hidden stuff, d wordplay, well....the basic meanings of the "thing" I've jz wrote above. C'est la vie....au revoir~

Liars.

Hypocrite.

U kno hu u all are. Even if I don't now, I'll eventually find out. I'm watching. And so are my other clazmates hu refuse to join u in yr filthy activities.

Yea...sure....in case u're saying "Macamla u x pernah buat!": I'm no angel. I've cheated before. But I will never ever make it a habit. I'll never enter an exam hall wif cheating as my main objective. I'll nvr go ard planning hu 2 copy frm, strategic seats, etc. Even if I feel terrible & helpless cz I didn't study evrything, I'll still try to answer as much as I cn on my own abilities. I'll leave questions unanswered. And whn my results come out, no matter hw low dey are, I'll b proud, knowing dat dey're mine!

Oh, ya, to those "saints" helping these "people in need", u all pun sama2 asshole la. Instead of helping ppl, u're jz making these ppl worse. U're jz making dem more dependant, helpless, and corrupted. Yea, sure, tossing answers @ ppl is so much easier than helping dem 2 gradually understand & learn d subject, bt dat's nt goin 2 help dem. Babi u.

Here's d thing: I trust ppl easily. When my trust is lost d 1st time, it'll be hard 4 u 2 earn it bak frm me, bt it's possible. Lose it a few more times & u'll get an enemy u'll regret 2 get. Jangan harap nak pujuk me bak wif yr sweet words. I'll make Blair Waldorf look like an amateur.

Eh wait....one last pot shot aimed @ some "innocent" hypocrites.....dun try 2 trick me, acting innocent. I hv proof. I hate it whn ppl buat2 like dey're nt involved, siap kutuk2 lagi orang lain, bt doin it "out of my sight". Ppl will find out abt u, including me too eventually. Lagi saya geram kat hipokrit cam ni. Siap la u dat time.

It hurts me. I hate seeing my frenz feeling down cz dey got low marks, watching some atrocious ppl smile as dey score higher marks. It used to hurt me too, bt hey, I reminded myself wat a nice, honest, and cute person I am. So, 2 those frenz hu feel bad dat dey scored low though dey've poured in their own efforts, be proud. U cn take comfort in d fact dat those hard-earned marks are yr own. Remind yrself dat semua cursed ppl ini will end up lifeless, useless, hopeless, and lots of other "less"-es. If their genitals aren't cursed to infertility by me, dey'll hv kids hu will b super ugly, smelly, stupid, and (insert negative adjectives). Same goes to their grandchildren, great grandchildren, future generations.

Be strong. Be proud. Be honest. U'll get thru some day. Jz hang in there. For dat true act in itself, thank you from d bottom of my heart.

Nak? Or tak nak?

Seriously, these few days have been killing me. Tests. Assignments lagi.

Whn I stare @ d question papers, I get d super itchy feeling 2 peek @ another person's answers or jz ask dem whether I cn copy theirs jz 2 save my ass.

Bt then, is it worth it? Wat's d point of doin dat? Well....an occasional joking-ish "Wat answer u got ah?" is fine by my standards, bt hw far is "far" to d point of overdoing perbuatan meniru?

Sy rs telinga sy ni memang tmpt favourite setan2 duk bisik2 & hasut2. Lantak ler. Bengong punya "cadangan", mintak sy wat benda2 cam tu. Patut pun Eno, C.E.O, Ain benci u all.

I guess I'd rather look @ my almost-halfway-there-but-still-terrible marks, & give a big smile, knowing dat I'm satisfied cz it's my own efforts. I do love some of d subjects; my recent plummet in results is probably jz a test frm God 2 c hw long I cn hang in thr.

I bet Mr. Lim was pretty confused 2day, tinking of d moment he gave me bak my AM test paper & I gave him bak an excited smile while seeing my low marks. At least I kno deserved my efforts ^_^

Annoying Ass.

I publish dis at the risk of being labelled as an obnoxious, arrogant student hu's 2 smart 4 himself.

Dis bloody assignment is really annoying. The answers really require thought, yet our claz is being held on a leash by a lady clutching onto a stack of paper and reciting it feverishly. Yes, she's really glued on to that so-called-holy-answer-scheme. And being typical Malaysian students, we're more concerned about our marks than actually learning something or getting the true answers. Yes, our answers may have many holes in them, yet we're still covering behind the false pretences of "correct" answers. You may hv "correct" answers, but they may be false. Get it?

Who da heck in claz cares? We all jz want our marks, rite?

I wanna u/stand dis subject, not jz blindly aim to get another bloody A. I kno some ppl are unfortunate enuf to be born wif d ability to memorise things blindly and vomit them into exams, scoring like hell. Well, @ least dey're fortunate enuf 2 b born in M'sia. What a sad state our education system is in, isn't it? Robots score while humans fail.

Hu cares la. No one does. My ramblings here will go unnoticed, not inducing even the least of the readers' concerns.

I refuse to be turned into an effing robot. Even if dat costs me my CGPA.

Thank you.

Thank you....

...to my parents, 4 being d most understanding, paling best parents in d world! Freedom of choice eh?

...to my frenz, 4 keepin their mouths shut 4 me & helpin me thru dis.

...to Mimi, 4 acting as my stress reliever (sumtimes inducer) =p

A decision.

A difficult decision is about to be made. Well, having my parents' support helps alot.

To those friends hu r in d same predicament as me:

Hang in there. Consider everything carefully & critically. Dis is one helluva matter which can affect yr whole life. N of course, b tough.

To those frenz hu are watching me do dis:

I reli reli hope 4 yr understanding & support. Pls pls pls dun make it harder on me by attempting to convince me to go in a certain direction which you think is right. Jz lend me yr thoughts, forget any attempts at pujuk-ing, & be there 4 me, k?

To my parents:

Thanks alot for understanding. I guess dis runs in d family blood (given our interesting history), doesn't it? =p

Headache/Migraine

I post dis at the risk of being called a OMG-u're-still-effing-whining-abt-dis-since-las-yr?? asshole.

My stupid headache is still bugging me. Slp more, eat more, rest more, relax more, dey all still don't work. Really affecting my daily life and studies (I tink....probably....) la wei.

How annoying.

Alice In Wonderland.

Here's d thing:

DO NOT ENTER THE CINEMA, EXPECTING THE MOVIE TO BE A FEEL-GOOD-KIDDIE-MOVIE ALA ALA TYPICAL CARTOONS/FANTASY STUFF

U'll end up disappointed if u go in wif dat mindset. Try being abit more open to d movie instead. Anyway, here's a so-called "review" of d movie (more of a Q & A session la)

Are the actors and actresses really doing their job?

-While watching the movie, did u actually feel any "connection" wif d actors/actresses? Did you actually start considering them as real people instead of characters during the movie. If u did, they probably did their job.

Is d script good?

-I'll hv 2 say dat Alice's script is pretty much a no-brainer (for those hu hv read d story).

Is d storyline, d plot development, d flow commendable?

-Dis matter is really subjective. Some ppl will feel pissed cz their favourite characters/scenes frm d book got cut. Some will find d movie boring. Some will be lost. And some will be totally engaged in d movie.

Wat did u get frm d movie?

-See whether the original author or d movie director tried to present anything to us instead of d usual colour-bursting-special-effects crap we tend to focus on these days. After all, aren't movies supposed to let us leave the cinema hall wif a feeling of something learnt?

Well, to me, I tink dat a majority of d ppl are goin 2 feel disappointed wif d movie. I'd blame d posters & advertisements. I bet many ppl will enter d cinema expecting a cheerful, bright, colourful movie. Bt instead, IMHO, I tink d movie was a tad too serious and mature compared to its expectations. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed it. Do try to spot d hidden stuff in it ^_^

Edit: I tink d movie was sorta balancing between ooh-aah-wow-pretty-fantasy and dark-secretive-can-you-decipher-this la. Sorta like halfway between seriuos and funny. Definitely nt goin 2 please d general public dis way....

Be Prepared.

Yeah....u prolly heard dis many times b4 bt here it is:

Be prepared if u choose Actuarial Science in UTAR. Really prepared to work yr ass off.

Unless u're one of those rare geniuses (who my lecturer claims hv shorter lifespans), chances are, AS will be one helluva tough course if u're taking it in UTAR. Tak tau la other place camne.

Tests after tests after tests.

Assignments dropping like bird shit on yr car.

Sucky management office.

And yes.....most importantly, juggling your social life.

I'd like to quote a super smart bt humble person I know, "Do you study for the knowledge or passing?". Sometimes, we kno we can't afford d privilege of slowly taking our time to appreciate and treasure d knowledge we gain cz we're too busy trying to study in a manner necessary for our survival in exams. Bt then, we hv 2 rmbr dat his words do bear some significance. After all, @ d end of d day, merely having a cert is reli goin 2 make yr life shit & meaningless.

I kno it's super tough. I kno dat u kno dis fact. So, brace yrself & stand strong, k? I'll definitely try to help u as much as I can, even if I hv 2 play d role of budak jahat saying "I told u so, u idiot!!" sumtimes. Though a first-class honours isn't possible for everyone, I'm pretty sure dat hard, consistent work can ensure our survival :)

So, be strong, k? You know who you are~

Beware.

I'm starting to feel the momentum

Impatiently awaiting your confession

For no good shall arise in succession

To my temper reaching its final remnant

Is a confrontation your hidden desire?

The only way to put out this fire?

Dragging yourself in this quagmire

Further provoking my building anger

It seems you only want the fame

Our bonding is just a petty game

I don't know whether to feel shame

Hurt inside, quietly maimed

How much more can I take?

Will you just continue to fake?

Don't think nothing is at stake

For now our links are starting to flake.

COCKROACH!!!!

Stupid effing sakai kanasai neigbours frm dunno which part of hell!!!!!

Wat's wrong wif u ah? Pounding/banging on d wall/floor in d middle of d noon, around midnight, past midnight, and now 5a.m.!!!! Evrytime I've taken days to finish consoling myself, convinced that dat particular dumb nail in yr wall comes off often or that you're pounding on spices using yr lesung @ ungodly hours, d annoying "rhythmic" pounding starts again. Do you seriously know how annoying it is for my sleep to be disturbed in d middle of d nite?

U're so dead la. I'm complaining to d management as soon as I can. I'll get d guards on standby 24-7, ready to act on my signal (whn yr stupid pounding sound starts) so dat dey cn burst into yr hse, shock d shit outta you, & let me do d honours of swearing & cursing u once I find out who you are. Oh, ya, I'll make sure yr door suffers maximum damage when d guards bang on it & dat yr ears suffer maximum damage frm my yelling. And I'm nt compensating you a single bit on repair fees or medical fees unless you can compensate my lost sleep.

Ya....I kno.....rambling here's pretty useless la. Bt then, if ppl hv nothing better 2 do than 2 wake me up @ unearthly hours, I seriously hv nothing better 2 do than to curse like shit here. @ least it helps soften d headache I'm geting frm insufficient sleep. Oh, ya, btw, I hv class in 3 hours.

Fuck you. Jz u wait til i find out hu u are.

Sticks on Legs

Wat's up wif d increasing number of sticks I c walking evrywhr ah? Tetiba je it's an effing trend to b as thin as possible. Some of these gals actually look like dey cn snap if d wind blows. Itu pun nt yet including d weight of their handbags....haih....

Lidi Berkaki. Hmph. Menyampah.

Kalau xtau atau x pasti, senang je....

Diam. X payah gatal2 peningkn org lain.

Clean room --> Help Ah Nee --> Clean room --> Blog --> Clean Hema's Room --> Blog --(plan to) > Mandi --> Do FEFE tutorial --> Dunno

Really random.

Blood.

Sometimes, you jz hv 2 bear wif it. After all, dey're related to u by blood.

Deepest Condolences

In case some of u didn't know, Miss Quah Chau Im (usually known as Miss Quahci) passed away recently. Yeah, our bubbly-always-smiling-happy lecturer who evry student loved.

May her soul rest in peace.

DDR.....Yesh!!!

After wat seemed like an eternity of DDR-ing alone.... =(

I've met a guy 2day hu danced wif me kat d Jusco arcade!!! Yaaaaay!!! Plus, he's super pro & nice 2 me leh....teach me summore~

Tqtqtqtqtqtqtq!!!!

Saya harus rajin.

Saya kena ler rajin.

Saya perlu rajin.

Aku harus rajin.

Aku kena ler rajin.

Aku perlu rajin.

I should be hardworking.

I have to be hardworking.

I need to be hardworking.

(runs out of synonyms/languages to repeat self)

Random pics

Saja2 fling a few photos here.

1) Some fella's laundry day, taken in TBR~

2) Guess which insurance company pasted dis @ their door?

3) Well...simply "horny" ^_^

Weirdo =p

Is it jz me, or are my musical choices becoming less & less mainstream? I'm drifting into Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Regina Spektor (d old albums, mind you), n god knows wat next. Guess my picky/mengada ears get fed up of songs pretty fast.

Anyway, hv fun Thaipusam-ing 2 siapa2 yg tengah baca ni, especially Kishma! U kno hu I mean la =p

Junior Senior? Senior Junior?

New sem dah nak mula....I'm goin 1 b a 2nd yr student!!! Hehe....tak habis2 mengada wif d fact dat I'm young ^_^

Saja. Sry I wasted yr time reading dis =p

Listen. Please.

Wow...apparently, dis issue (usage of the word "Allah") is creating one helluva fuss throughout M'sia...almost evry political leader has or will pop up on tv blabbering abt dis & dat.

Listen.

Before evry1 rushes to give a piece of their mind (I'm taking a neutral stand here), y dun u all pause 4 a while & listen 2 d other party 1st?

1) 2 those involved in d publication using the word "Allah", y nt consult a few Muslim experts 1st? Ask their opinion, see whether it is wrong or disrespectful to use another religion's name for God. Even if the court/law allows it, care has to be taken when involving others' beliefs. Yea, we are legally entitled to use words bt then, we have to mindful of other religions, right? For instance, I'm allowed to eat pork bt I dun eat it in front of other Muslims like a bloody bastard.

2) 2 those Muslims disagreeing wif d issue (especially those hu act w/out thinking, tarnishing dis peaceful religion's name), y dun u pause awhile & listen? C hw exactly others plan 2 use "Allah". Perhaps its sumtin harmless like:

" Different religions have different beliefs....Christians believe in......Buddhists believe in......Hindus believe in.....Muslims believe in Allah."

Isn't dat be a simple, harmless statement serving no other purpose than to describe others' beliefs? If such a statement was wrong, then wat is it doin in Pendidikan Moral textbooks in M'sia (if I'm nt mistaken)? If d statement turns out to be an offensive one, explain 2 d relevant ppl la so dat dey'll u/stand & cease using it.

Basically, I c so many ppl taking a stand w/out really finding out & understanding d situation & its roots. Evry individual will certainly hv d tendency to c things frm their perpective; it's very hard avoiding bias whn analysing d situation. However, before dis erupts into a war, let's jz stop awhile & try 2 u/stand each other, shall we?

Listen. For the sake of Malaysia. Please.

Random thoughts (& d bashing part as usual)

1) Things aren't wat dey seem eh? Tetiba2 je ada org try 2 blow up churches. B4 fingers start pointing & words start flying, tink of dis. Thr could be many possibilities. D 1st one is obviously blaming "the other ppl". Bt then....another voice in my head is telling me dat dis could b d work of some humans hu jz wanna create tension, riots, or bloodshed. So, b4 d blame game escalates into a war, b careful, ok? D two religions hu are in a so-called "war" may actually b d victims of manipulators scheming 2 destroy our country's peace. Be very careful of wat u say.....or sumtimes, especially in d case of famous high profile ppl on tv, a plain "shut up" cn b better. U won't believe d nmbr of ppl hu could b leeching off dis incident jz 2 get a little time on tv.

2) D exam results are out. In case d news haven't gotten 2 u yet, here's d big history-of-Yong's-life-worthy-moment: It's d 1st bloody time in my life dat I didn't get an A for an English subject. I got a bloody B+. Saying I'm nt disappointed wud definitely earn me a hypocrite stamp. It's jz dat....well....I'd expected it 2 b tough....bt nt a B+, rite? Haih...wat is done is done.....buat2 happy je =p
(besides, I cn still console myself wif d fact dat dis event means I've got sooooo much more 2 learn abt English)

3) Here comes d bashing part, always lurking in my blog.....I get so sick seeing blogs promoting dis & promoting dat. Dey claim 2 b personal blogs bt after reading dem 4 quite some time, I get d queasy feeling dat I'm readin an advertorial disguised as a blog. Wat do these ppl get? More readers? Money? (pls pls pls dun click on their banners =p) Call me jealous, cynical, hypocritical, call me watever u want. I believe personal blogs & non-personal blogs shud b clearly separated. I dunno wat d public thinks bt I reli dun enjoy reading posts which feel like dey've been snagged frm some magazine or newspaper article. It's d flaws which get me hooked on. I'd rather read a person describing hw she fails to wake up for class and ends up being late rather than gaze @ pretty pictures or scan thru lines depicting wat a perfect life a person has.

4) I met a student hu reli reli surprised me. Nvr b4 hv I came across a student hu comes 2 2tion rite after schl (shud b pretty tired eh?), asks questions frequently, is nvr afraid 2 admit he didn't u/stand d crap I jz said a few secs ago, never gives up tackling so many maths questions, & yet, his bloody face lights up whn he misheard me saying dat I could hold another 2tion claz @ nite (and loudly saying dat he wants 2 attend it!) Dis guy cn reli make me feel ashamed. I've been abusing my gift/ability to catch lessons in schl pretty quickly bt dis person is so determined 2 learn though he keeps getting d answers wrong. I nid 2 hv his determination in uni. I nid 2 work hard, regardless of whether I fail often or even if I find it easy. I shud stop acting dumb, saying "I dunno" whn in fact d person I've jz failed 2 help wud nvr tink twice abt digging thru books jz 2 settle my minor doubts. N of course, I nid 2 be humble & deflate my bloody ego.

5) I hate 2tion centers in general. I've seen my fair share of money-making 2tion places conducting large classes whr those poor students leave more confused than dey were than whn dey came in. Schls always give xtra attention 2 top students bt dey nvr realise hw the ones below nid attention too. Did u kno dat my fren was accused of cheating jz bcoz he was nt frm d top classes in schl? Of all d bloody reasons, guess y he was accysed of cheating? Getting less than 10 marks out of 100 in a bloody Add Maths exam. Dat is one helluva bastard/bitch teacher lookin down on d students like dat. Their wobbly confidence is alredi further tainted by d schl's ignorance of their existence. Dey work their butts off 2 get those few marks & u accuse dem of cheating jz bcoz dey aren't "supposed" to score even one mark? To hell wif u la. Rather than coming up wif accusations whr d oni proof is their "impossible marks", help dem la. Dun assume dat dey dun hv any will 2 study jz bcoz dey're frm d "stupid/naughty classes".

Well, b4 I get carried away, I'd best get 2 sleep. I hv 2 classes 2moro, involving 1 student in d 1st session & only 2 in d 2nd one. Yr 1st reaction'll probably be "Ni tentu takde students, no one wants 2 attend 2tion wif him" bt jz brush aside d possibility dat I might, I might jz be nice enuf 2 hold small classes on purpose, will ya? I'd rather hold small classes, even spending time teaching a person instead of earning up to 10 times more wif a large claz jz so dat individual, dat person our education system has abandoned, cn actually learn sumtin rather than attending a famous 2tion center bt gain notin useful. Or mayb I'm a lousy tchr & no one wants 2 attend my classes. Do u tink I cn b dat selfish & nt aim purely @ money making opportunities only? Hmmm....up 2 u. U kno me wat =p