Thursday, 31 January 2008

Energy Ups & Lows.... (delayed fiction^_^)

Sry 4 d delay. Had a slight, temporary, writers' block....or izzit bloggers' block? (it rhymes!!!) promised, here's d fiction version of dat day's post.

Started my day in a not so good mood. Had 2 waste calories turning d steering wheel (driving) cos my "dear" driver had 2 send his 2nd wife 2 d hospital. Surprised? I guess I 4got 2 inform u dat he managed 2 "obtain" d maximum nmber wifes allowed by law. He shud get, like, an award or sumtin. Probably "Most Productive Malaysian". Only dis time, d term 'productive' means sumtin else in dis phrase. Not dat kinda 'productive' which d Government always stresses about from d ppl working in d public sector.

Imagine dis:

Prime Minister & all d big shot ministers: "We Malaysians nid 2 increase our productivity so that M'sia can prosper, move forward, and make its mark in the world !!!! Kuatkan usaha!!!"

Homo sapiens all over M'sia: "Oooo.....we didn kno our Government was so open!!! Well, now dat we hav d green light, let's increase our PRODUCTIVITY!!! Kuatkan usaha!!!"

Effect: Due 2 d different understandings of d word 'productivity', our Government conveyed d wrong msg 2 d public. Within several months, weeks or even days, all drinks or food in M'sia wif d word 'Tongkat Ali' or 'Kacip Fatimah' will be sold out....and....we'll hav a HUGE population boom thx 2 a small (or maybe BIG) misunderstanding between our dear Government and d public.

Anyway, bak 2 my bad mood.

Mood: Kinda irritated.
Energy Level: What do u expect? Of course I'm tired driving 2 uni!!! My fingers are so numb!!! As 4 my feet, dun even talk about them.

I was in such an irritated mood dat I paid no attention in all of my classes. I even hired my classmate to imitate my voice when the teacher asked me to answer d questions in d tutorial session. Though the teacher was convinced, I tink I shud hav a got a more proffesional voice impersonator next time.

Mood: Still irritated.
Energy Level: Must u ask me??

I was supposed 2 get my freedom @ 3pm. Unfortunately, our dear lecturer decided 2 do a claz replacement 2day cos one of her classes fell on a holiday. I'm like, "Watz d problem??? Why can't we just remain faithful to our dictionary's definition of 'holiday' & forget d claz??? Watz d point of a holiday if u dun get 2 skip classes." In reality, my voice had little significance in d uni. I dun hav dat much influence 2 change their "class replacement policy"

Note: I employed a guy 2 carry my bag 2 each class. dat we hav replacements, I guess I hav 2 spend a little extra money for my employee's overtime.

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Energy Ups & Lows.... (Reality)

Started my day wif great moods cos we had Maths lcture 2day. I luv dis lcturer!!! She's fast yet makes sure we u/stand her lessons. She can look nice (& she is nice) but make sure u dun talk during her lcture or she'll end d lcture. Just like dat. Scary.....

Mood: Great ^^
Energy Levels: Upper boundary

Nex was Computer Studies tutorial. Seriously, d lcturer's great but i kinda read her expression dat dis stage is kinda boring. We learnt how 2 open Microsoft Word, type, save, copy, paste, edit, open a document....sounds like "FUN", doesn't it? Totally not. While d others were slowly following d instructions on how 2 make borders for d whole page & certain parts of text, I went ahead & silently did dis:

Effects Of Computer Studies Tutorial

  • Kills evryone's time
  • Kills the students' & lcturer's energy
  • Induces symptoms of hyper-boredom
  • Tortures the lcturer (who stands throughout the lesson)
  • Angers human rights activists (cos d lcturer's tortured)
Conclusion: We can't wait 4 d next level!!!

I guess it's pretty accurate.....

Mood: Slightly down due 2 boredom.
Energy Level: Moderate.

Next, MATHS TUTORIALS!!! Our dear Miss P actually told us 2 do questions 1-10. 1st thing she said when class started:

"Ok....Questions 1-7 are easy. We've covered d example dat day during d lcture. Let's go straight to Question 8!!! (wif a huge smile) Does any1 hav any probs regarding Question 1-7? Ok.....since u r all silent, I'll consider dat u all u/stand."

How great! We flew past 7 questions just like dat, thx 2 our dear Miss P. She tackled question 7-10 wif ease, reminding us: "Easy wat...." When a student challenged her 2 prove why numbers divided by 0 wud b impossible, she simply showed us d solution (i 4got it but i'll add it l8r) & got a huge round of applause from us!!!

Mood: Superb!
Energy Level: The sky's the limit!

As soon as I stepped into Computer Studies lecture, I could practically feel & absorb d sad, depressed, lifeless mood of d other students. It wasn't dat boring 2day cos I got 2 voice out my knowledge (& show off abit). For example, I was d loudest guy yelling "RAW!!" when d lcturer asked us d best digital picture format. Strangely, I heard some1 saying "pdf!!" behind me. How amusing^^ Note: D normal "jpeg//jpg" format removes some aspects of a photo 2 make it smaller. It's described as a "lossy" format. Pro photographers prefer RAW format though it's big cos it's kinda like d purest digital form of a pic....

Mood: Kinda high-spirited.
Energy Level: Above average.

According 2 d schedule, our moment of liberty was at 3pm. Un4tunately, we had Chem lcture. I dunno why d students were dat confused wif 2day's lesson. Itz kinda like a repeat of our F4 & F5 Chem lessons wif a minor difference: new flashy terms wif d same meanings.

Mood: Ordinary
Energy Level: Ordinary

Note: I can't tink of a fiction version @ d moment. Sry^^

Monday, 28 January 2008

Utter Confusion (Fiction)

-->Ate ice-cream & drank wine 4 b/fast. I can't believe my maids 4got 2 restock d 1850 version. Had 2 settle 4 d 1860 annoying.

-->Drove 2 UTAR cos my limo driver had 2 take his pregnant wife 2 d hospital. At d rate & frequency his wife (& him) are "being productive", I tink they single-handedly can cause a population boom in KL.....nvm, dis helps ensure a steady supply of drivers & maids for my future generations. Jus dun xpect me 2 raise their 10k salary.

-->Breezed thru Computer Studies & Econs thx 2 my superb team of note-takers. They helped make sure I didn even hv 2 listen 2 d lcturers cos I cn jus go thru d notes d made l8r.

-->Nearly fainted in Physics lcture. Even my note-taking team quitted their jobs after seeing d lcturer's mind-boggling presentation. Well, I guess I hav 2 run a few more advertisements in The Star & NST 4 new note-takers.....or, I could jus flunk Physics.

-->Paid no attention during d Maths lcture cos I basically learnt it all @ home last week. I guess I better ask my private tutor 2 hurry up cos my standards dictate dat my private lessons shud b at least 1 mth ahead of lessons @ uni.

-->Felt lazy 2 drive so I asked my driver 2 pick me up on d way bak frm d hospital. Thought of hiring a temporary guard 2 take care of my car but cudn b bothered whether it was stolen or not. I hav more @ my disposal.


Who cares?

Utter Confusion (Reality)

Strangely, I began d day by eating b/fast wif my hsemate in a weird way: bread wif mayo in between?! Apparently (according to my weight-conscious hsemate), it wasnt as fattening as I thought. Got a lift 2 uni 2day^^


= ???

>Got dropped off at d roadsite-->Walked 2 UTAR-->Went 2 Computer Studies claz

>Lcturer turned out 2 b interesting.... (Note: He made d lcture interesting, not dat I meant he turned out 2 b interesting in dat kinda freakish way) Many students said he was better than d usual one but i reserve my comments to myself.

>Had Econs tutorial wif Miss M....she's kinda nice cos she really makes sure we understand d topic but in a not-so-boring kinda way.... Quote: "Think like a Chinese businessman"......

>Physics lecture was a killer!!! I resorted 2 grabbing d reference book of d guy nex 2 me 2 read rather than listen 2 her teach cos her P/point slides were **** confusing!!! D other students even resorted to: "Yes, we u/stand....nex slide pls...." evrytime she tried 2 xplain further. D condition was made worse by d useless air-con which we had complained about since las wk. Consequence: I switched from good mood-->BAD MOOD.

>Maths lecture was nice. Miss P is a really great Maths lcturer! Un4tunately, my bad mood didn help me much in absorbing d facts.....a few un4tunate ppl got laser'd by me 2 cos dey weren't smart enuf 2 notice my mood (or listen 2 d warning cries of a smart clazmate nearby).

>Went bak.

Saturday, 26 January 2008

Motion Sickness.....(strange yet still reality)

Hi guys^^ Dis is so unbelievable yet real dat I cant even come up wif a fiction

Went 2 Mid Valley 2day 2 meet my on9 fren. I've known him 4 like, 'round 1 yr but I nvr met him b4 so dat was kinda interestin. Watched Cloverfield @ GSC.

I shud hav heeded d advice in The Star (page 42) 2day. Dat damned movie was recorded mostly using a hand-held videocam (to add a "Blair Witch Project" feel to it). Unfortunately, dat made it XTRA XTRA XTRA SHAKY. Within d 1st 30 mins, I was already rushing 2 d toilet 2 vomit. Honestly!!! How embarassing 2 do dat in front of a guy I hav jus met. "Round 2" of vomiting came within 1 hour after I sat at my place again. Dis time, b I saw like, 6 or more ppl outside d cinema hall who were not rushing 2 d toilet. Instead, they were rushing 2 leave the cinema. I guess some of them couldn't take d stupid wobbly cameraman. Anyway, bak 2 d movie & less details bout my vomit.

D 1st 20 mins of d movie was wasted as "Introduction" whr we watched in total boredom bout a farewell party 4 a guy who's goin 2 Japan or sumtin like dat. D camera guy, "Hud", goes around pestering evry1 2 look @ d camera & say their goodbye msgs 4 our dear "Japan Guy", Rob.

Then.....jus as d audience is about 2 fall asleep, an annoying loud boom sounding like some kinda Godzilla fart shakes dem 2 their senses. Panic starts & we get 2 c ppl run crazily around. 4 some reason, Hud has d guts (or doesn hav d brains) 2 actually stop & film glimpses of d monster rather than run away like evry1 else. Oh, ya, we get 2 c d Statue of Liberty's head fly off & drop in d middle of NY. I dunno watz d monster's motive doin dat. Mayb d statue looks abit 2 much like President Bush. Being typical homo sapiens, evry1 in d movie wants 2 run as far as dey can. So, we get 2 c wat happens when the monster cuts off d cables of d Brooklyn bridge-->many ppl scream like freaks @ die. Miraculously, d cameraman & his videocam (which must be a lucky charm) survives. And, he manages 2 record all d events. We really nid 2 find out who he is & hire him as a pro. Note: He even survived attacks from d monster's offsprings (which kinda remind me of those annoying mutant spiders in a movie i watched b4).

Possible Advertisement....ala-ala Mastercard....

1) "Whatever brand" videocam wif ultra-long battery life, superb night vision, yet no anti-shake features 2 help viewers save medical bills: several thousand $$.

2) Hiring a super daring, dumb, yet "professional" cameraman: several thousand $$.

3) Documenting the whole damned event where d cameraman manages to capture it all while staying alive: priceless....

Basically, 2 cut the crap, d whole movie is about how these ppl run & get killed of one by one. The ending must be the worst ending dat I hav ever seen in my life. 3 ppl are left which includes:

1) Hud, the near-immortal cameraman.

2) Rob, d guy who's goin 2 Japan.

3) Beth, d girl who slept wif Rob a few days ago & then fought wif him during his farewell party.

Suddenly, d couple starts 2 scream. Hud turns bak & d HUGE monster is towering over him. The camera angle starts to swing 2wards a vertical direction (note: 90 degrees/perpendicular to the ground's surface) as d viewers get 2 c monster’s mouth. D nex few seconds r filled wif disgusting (note: NOT SCARY AT ALL) sounds of d monster attacking Hud. Strangely, while Hud holds on 2 d videocam throughout d movie w/out letting it go, he manages 2 drop it 2 d ground so dat d viewers can watch him die. Even stranger, d monster was so full eating dat fat Hud dat it didn even bother 2 attack d couple. Talk about d power of love....or mayb Hud is d monster's replacement 4 those energy bars which try to make consumers feel full. D viewers get 2 c d couple run 2wards Hud’s body & whine. Then, they are “forced” to leave him behind yet they hav d time 2 take d videocam along wif them. Nice huh? Dat videocam sure has some mystical mind possessing powers. As d couple run & take shelter under a small bridge, d guy (Rob) actually has time 2 look in d camera & introduce himself. “I’m Rob blablabla & NY is being attacked by a monster. If u r seeing dis, u probably survived. Blablablabla…. Rob even manages 2 call his partner, Beth, to “say sumtin”. Wat cheesy dialogue.

Then, d ground shakes. Suddenly, d bridge collapses & we hear them screaming. Rob starts yelling “Beth, look at me now. Look at me!!! I love u.” Beth replies "I love you too.". I believe dat was d mother of all cheesy dialogues. Jus as I get ready 2 run 2 d toilet 2 vomit due 2 d disgusting dialogue, d show ends. Juz like dat. Really. Did I blink a millisecond? I could clearly hear d audience’s surprise & anger. Many ppl were like, “Wat happened?” I guess we’ll never kno.....

Note: My fren actually belanja'd me d movie tickets. I feel so bad 4 him cos d movie sucked. It was as if we burned RM 11 each. So, my dear fren, if u r readin dis, I'm reli sry d movie sucked. Do remind me 2 belanja u nex time ^_^

Friday, 25 January 2008

My not-so-formal Summary

Dear Miss ****(my lecturer),

1st & foremost, I would like to inform you that I walked all the way from the PA block to the PD block to watch these men ramble insignificantly in front of me. Therefore, PLEASE cut the marks of those absent at this so-called "workshop" or my efforts & burnt calories will go to waste. Thank you.

Now, the compulsory/long-winded/energy-draining part: doing a summary about this workshop. Honestly, speaking, I couldn't hear, translate, or bother what the heck our dear Dato' **** said. The little scraps of information that I picked up are as follows:

1) Quote: "Of the several thousand homo sapiens who applied for jobs in the public sector, only 1.7% are Chinese applicants."

C&C (Comments & Complaints): Why wud he use the word "Chinese" specifically? Yes, I kno dat there are many Chinese students in our Uni but this doesn't mean that you should present your speech as if you are addressing the Chinese only! I seriously felt bad in front of my non-Chinese frenz when dis Dato' went on & on about how the Chinese had a wrong perception of the public sector, how Chinese ppl this, how Chinese ppl can racial equilibrium & harmony be achieved if our ministers themselves lean towards certain races when speaking in public?

2) Quote: "The public sector is the largest employer in the country."

C&C: Yes my Dear Dato', u can say dat but we kno dat the public sector also "generates" the largest amount of losses in our country. For example, Proton Holdings Berhad consistently reported losses in at least the three most recent quarters. How humiliating can dat be? Their vain attempts comprise of one-sided deals (in which they get the lousier part of the deal) and of course, their new & over-hyped models which never seem to differ much from each other in terms of looks. I guess genetic variation doesn't exist in their R&D department. Their new cars look like the old cars with new headlights, butts, or dashboards. How "creative"!!!

My next complaint: Our dear Dato's (dis is another Dato') decision to attract our attention with a mini clip from the movie Kung Fu Hustle which featured a fight scene. The sequence of events are as follows:

The clip is projected onto the white wall in front of the hall. Since the lights are on, the only ****ing thing that I could see was Stephen Chow's white clothes swishing around with some butt-kicking action going on (the background in the clip was black). Oh, ya, the other thing I could see were the subtitles cos they were in white.
After some time, they finally had the sense to turn off the lights. Barely a few seconds after they turned the lights off, the clip ended. Talk about convenient timing. Then, thx 2 our Dato's enthusiasm, we were subjected to another round of the video clip. Did any1 ask 4 an encore? I dun tink so. At least they had the sense to turn the lights off & increase the volume of the speakers.
When he made sure dat we had heard the dialogue in the movie clearly, he started to nag us about d older generation's hopes regarding us & elaborated on this "moral lesson". How interesting can dat be? Seriously, he needs to go for the soft skill course dat our Uni's offering. Mayb he'll manage to make his talk more interesting next time.
The next few "moral lessons" he pointed out were filtered automatically by my eardrums, much to the dismay of my ever eager sarcastic tongue.

Then, he decided to present us some facts & figures. He had a Powerpoint presentation wif this ugly triangle which couldn't be deciphered at all. The lousy choice of colours & absurd font size induced a major headache. Seriously, I find the crypts & symbols in National Treasure less confusing than this.

Next....2 weird flow chart/circular diagrams which again proved annoying to read. Even AJL viewers at the "Kristal" seats can get a clearer view of Datuk Siti than we can get a view of dis diagram in front of us.

3) Quote: "The most well kept secret is dat Government servants are usually overpaid."

C&C: Well, seeing my unfortunate secondary school teachers suffer for several years has certainly opened up my eyes. How can you say dat they are overpaid? I seriously believe the teachers deserve a higher pay than those Government staff who sit the office glued to their seats & browsing through papers. Erm....perhaps d higher salary is to cover for extra medical fees such as the surgeries required to remove their butts which get stuck to those seats frequently. In addition, seeing my lecturers working in UTAR (which is fully private) surely helps to "convince" me to work in the public sector. If the public sector is so good, why aren't these great lecturers working in it? How ironic.

Our dear Dato' then proceeded to annoy us further wif a survey which clearly said "May 2, 2006". How outdated can dat old man be?

4) Quote: "Many students say that they never thought about working in the public sector."

C&C: I believe the actual statement would be like this: "I thought of working in the public sector, but I had nightmares so I stopped thinking about it." That wud b more accurate. Obviously, our lecturers didn't choose the public sector. Why should we?

Well, I tink dis post is reaaaaally long. If u managed 2 read it frm d top 2 d bottom, thx alot. If u didn, thx anyway 4 visiting dis wbsite ^_^ At least now I feel better knowing dat I cn share my thoughts wif u guys.....thx again ^_^

Crappy Talk (Fiction)

What lousy service!!! My stupid limo driver dropped me in front of the PD block like, at the entrance itself!!! I was expecting him to drive all the way into the hall where I was attending a seminar. My reputation as a VIP student has been tarnished!!! Better get some PR managers 2 increase my popularity ratings. Our lecturer tried to force us to write a 300+ word summary but we "took care" of her. Technically, my personal assistants did the dirty work. Well, I was really annoyed to see a minor Dato' at the seminar. I was expecting someone of a higher position. At the very least, I would have tolerated his mere presence itself & withstand 2 mins of useless blabbering. Unfortunately, he went on and on for like, 10 mins!!! The uni made sure none of my course mates could understand, hear, or see the Dato' talk while I sat there chatting. knowing that a Blu-ray DVD (in HD) of the speech would be available at my mansion for my secretaries to skim & produce a summary for my homework (in case the lecturer survived whatever my assistants did to her). Took a heli bak 2 avoid d traffic jam but forgot that my neighbour's cars were obstructing the way. Well, now the cars have been "taken care of", Mother Nature has lesser polluters waiting to pollute the air anyway.

Crappy Talk (Reality)


Hi again & thx 4 reading
. Just came back frm a ****ing crappy "seminar" where we had to endure useless junk. Initially, we were kinda interested 2 attend d seminar bout "Career Opportunities in the Public Sector" but that interest turned into fear when we were blackmailed by our English lcturer 2 attend d "seminar" & write a 300+ word summary bout it & its implications on us or else marks would b deducted frm our coursework. Then....we got news dat a certain Dato' wud b there. Most of us joked dat it wud be the highly controversial Dato'. Well, it turned out 2 b juz another Dato'. I arrived at d PB block just a few seconds late & d bus was 10m away from me. I watched as d bus left me behind so I decided to walk at least 40 mins 2 d PD block. By d time I reached there, I was sweating as if I just went to a California Fitness branch. Barely 10mins after standing at the podium, our dear Dato' decided to end his speech. I couldn't catch most of it anyway cos I was at d bak wif my frenz. The uni had d sense 2 actually project a live video of the speech @ d white wall 4 ppl behind 2 c but dey didn hav d sense to actually make it big enuf 4 us 2 c clearly. Endured the speeches of several more ppl, took some notes enuf 2 make a decent summary & went off early wif my frenz. How annoying. I wasted my energy walking there.

Thursday, 24 January 2008

My 1st Physics Practical !!! (Fiction)

Note: Check the label on this post & it'll inform u dat dis is fiction^_^

Pls tell me whether dis is ok/I hav 2 change some parts/I totally suck...

Just came back from dinner at Hilton hotel which included my favourite escargots. Unfortunately, the limo was caught in a traffic jam so I had to take a heli bak. Obviously, I didn enjoy the bumpy ride coupled with the inhalation of noxious KL fumes intoxicating the sky. Had Physics practical 2day where I made my lab mate do all the measuring, weighing, calculating, writing, and of course, walking while I sat there talking on my cell phone. Thx to my lab mate’s incompetence, I was stuck in the lab for 25 minutes!!! That’s 20 minutes longer than my attention span!!! I really need to hire another lab mate soon. Then, I attended my private Chemistry lecture in the conference room while the others (including my dumb lab mate) were stuck in the sauna room. After that, I enjoyed constant attention in English class due to my perfect British accent. I just can’t believe how lousy terrible my classmates were at saying the words “got”, “goat”, “god”, & “guard” with perfection. They seemed like goats making noise to me. Thankfully, I had my 30GB Sony MP3 player which I bought 1 year before it appeared on the market. After my driver dropped me at my mansion, I instructed my secretaries to type this blog as I read the instructions aloud.

My 1st Physics Practical !!! (Reality)

Note: Check the post's label 2 kno whether dis post is real or fiction....(i tink u guys cn guess it anyway)

Just came back from dinner. Walked about 500m 2 my frenz hse then went 2 another fren's hse. Ate hot plate sweet & sour rice ^_^ I had Physics practical 2day where I did 2 experiments in 1+ hour only. Thx 2 my obsession wif perfection, I was d 2nd last person 2 hand in my report.....(evry1 had 2 do it in the lab). I seriously hoped my lab mate wasn't angry coz each team has 2 hand in a report & I was so slo doing ours. Luckily, d lcturer praised us :P 4 using the "unity rule" to convert our readings into d S.I units. Apparently, my other clazmates didn do dat. I was stuck in Chem lcture after dat. Unfortunately, the 2 hr lcture was made worse by the air-con's inability to well, do itz ****ing job & cool the air. I was sweating buckets in there. After dat, I had English tutorial. It was kinda fun watching d lcturer teach us pronunciation. "How do you say this?" "What about this word?" Actually, watching my clazmates stumble when they tried to pronounce "got", "goat", "god", & "guard" in succession was even more amusing.....went bak after dat & started dis blog....

Wat the ****???

Ok, F&F (1st & foremost), u might be wondering "Wat da heck is Agendum Arcanum?!" Well, I was kinda bored & I felt out of touch wif my frenz frm H 3EJ '05, 4ST1 '06, & 5 Ibn Sina '07 (ya, I do miz u guys alot...). Using Hot Spot wud b pure misuse of power & responsibility as itz a claz blog so I decided to do one myself. I'm kinda in d trial stages so pls bear wif me if i suck. I 4 now, I plan 2 hav:

Sum kinda daily diary.....
Ya, I kno many ppl do dis..... Some D ppl like reading other's blogs bout their life but im not dat kinda person. So.....2 please both crowds, I'll hav 2 versions:

--> 1) The actual stuff happening in my life...D
--> 2) An alternative view (basically crazy fiction) so dat ppl wont find me talking boringly 2 myself....I kinda hope dis weird idea will work cos E I wont b so boring (hopefully).

Note: D identity of ppl mentioned in these posts N will (usually) be altered as 2 avoid legal confrontation (going 2 court).

Celeb news.....
I am not turning dis blog A into an online tabloid!!! Frm time 2 time, I'll just add some hot gossip, celeb news, & so G on....

Pls dun expect me 2 churn out latest E movie reviews, book reviews, music reviews, & so on a regular velocity & consistency equivalent to a blogging robot. I'll just N add wat I tink I feel like adding from time 2 time.

Well, I tink dats enuf 4 now. I'll add new sections if I manage 2 cope up wif d ever increasing amount of D homework.....

By the way, if you paid attention, you would have noticed some weird looking spaces which pop out of no where in d above sentences. Actually, they are letters. If u did notice them, dat means u actually spent time reading dis post (thx alot!!). D last letter is here: A . Try finding them all & you'll get the meaning of "Agendum Arcanum". Bye ^_^

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