School!

Well, typed this quite some time ago. Copy paste je kat sini sbb tgh exam lg...huhuhu....

SCHOOL. This word alone sends countless Malaysian students grabbing the nearest book, running for cover, or in some unfortunate cases, turning hysteric. I’m sure that some naysayers will be exclaiming: “What nonsense!” but wait! Try taking the test below:

I confess that I’ve experienced:

Conveniently ‘misplacing’ my homework as I put on a great show of digging through my bag, knowing all too well that it’s lying at home, pure and untouched.

Wishing that Mr. Procrastination would help my assignments complete themselves.

Losing ‘quite a few’ strands of hair due to involuntary hand movements while answering a test or revising for one.

Staring intently at the exam paper, hoping for answers to magically appear while chanting curses involving the examination, examiner, and examination board.

Laughing gleefully while walking past seniors or juniors studying for a major exam.

So, how did you score?

At the very least, Malaysian parents can rest assured that their children will be well trained, both physically and mentally. Consider this: school kids have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, combat sleepiness during lessons, and prepare to sprint to the cafeteria to avoid the recess crowd. After adding multi-kilogram schoolbags, extracurricular activities, tuition classes, and other factors into the equation, I can’t help but wonder why I’m seeing more and more obese kids these days.

Mentally, these young adults gradually develop strategy-planning skills worthy of Sun Tzu’s approval. Armed with a meagre 24 hours a day, students have to juggle classes, homework, extra classes, extra homework, tuition classes, tuition homework, and yes, EXAMS. Undoubtedly, kids these days are far tougher than they look. Try touching that pint sized girl and you might end up with a taekwondo demonstration, complete with the finishing touches of her deadly fingers toned by piano, violin, and countless musical and art classes. To add icing to the cake, try taking into account that potential weapon she’s wielding (the godly HUGE sack of books!) and you might think twice before touching or even going within a 10-metre radius of her.

These days, knowing the exam format is just as important as possessing the ability to swallow textbooks (metaphorically speaking). In addition to the usual WHAT, students are also expected to know HOW to answer exams in order to score higher marks. Surprisingly, I have yet to come across a reference book on exam formats. Hmmm....potential bestselling book idea anyone? I’m sure Malaysian students will fling their novels on bloodsuckers and hairy beasts if they spot this next must-have reference material to add to their mini library at home, wouldn’t they?

All in all, we can see clearly for ourselves the multitasking, multi-talented superhumans that Malaysian schoolkids are turning into, under the kiasu pressure of our society. Makes me feel thankful for the carefree life I had in school last time. Takde la pressure melebih2 cam ni. We were more concerned over saving our ass in a game of Tan Duduk or making that jump in Tenteng, rather than pondering over our tuition schedule for the day.

Thus, the next time you see a child in a school uniform, do not take the kid lightly. That kid’s time management skills may put most adults to shame. Even that suspiciously bloated schoolbag may turn out to be his daily cardiovascular training and muscle toning tool. Now...who says our young generation isn’t getting enough exercise? Just don’t bump into that kid by mistake....a physical trashing of a lifetime may lie awaiting....