Monday 28 April 2008

Super Humans !!!!

I was eatin lunch in front of d TV (ya, I hv one in my room :P ) when i noticed sumtin. D noon slot is filled wif soooooo many commercials targeting us homo sapiens!!!! Seriously, I was so annoyed by the endless claims by these lying companies that we will be smarter, prettier, thinner, safer, and so on by using their damned products. So, inspiration hit me & I came up wif dis idea:

Super Human (SH)

1) Since young, SH has been supplied wif all sorts of milk powder...oops, I mean, super-enriched-contains-everything-child formula. With Immunofortis, DHA, over-saturated calcium, iron, taurine, & evrything they can throw in, our dear young SH will definitely grow up as a super smart infant who can do algebra in its brain within microseconds with a super muscular, Arnold Schwarzenegger-like body.

2) SH takes all sorts of supplements. This includes several brands of disgusting cod liver oil , multi-vitamins wif all sorts of vitamins ranging from A to Z in them, washed down SH's throat wif special "Special Water" which supposedly contains minerals & dissolved salts but not a single germ thanks to the super expensive filters' countless filtration stages. SH is a super healthy kid with no vitamin deficiencies whatsoever. Doctors will find not a single bacterium or germ in the kid's blood because the kid is so freakin pure.

3) SH has complete 24-hour protection. Firstly, the milk SH drinks has all sorts of "special", "unbelievable", "scientific breakthrough" ingredients which manufacturers claim 2 boost SH's immunity. Secondly, SH has been thoroughly immersed in a variety of anti-bacterial soap & shampoos to the extent that SH has so-called 24-hour shields hovering around it, killing any bad bacteria within a 1 km radius. SH does not know d definition of "sickness". SH's exceptional immunity aura allows it to help its mum kill any weeds in the garden just by walking near the weeds. Termites are non-existent in the house.

4) SH has been sent to the best school, the best tuition centre, any place which SH's parents can cram into SH's schedule. Mental arithmetics, abacus, arts, music, ballet, drama, singing, etc.....SH can do them all!!! Every1 can c SH from kilometers away due to its huge brain hovering above it. Looks like all those classes, tuition, and camps coupled with the excess DHA from d supplements paid off.

5) As SH matures, SH is sent to every beauty expert. SH is the only living teen in the world w/out a single pimple or a millimeter of fat. Wrinkles? No...SH's blood contains more Botox than red blood cells.... SH has flawless hair thanks to the plethora of shampoos SH uses. SH has no frizzy hair, zero hair fall, unlimited protection against the sun, and super lustrous & shiny hair which is stronger than steel chains.

So....by using the countless products in commercials which I watched within mere minutes, I hv created SH, the M'sian super human. With flawless looks, brains, and health, SH is definitely the perfect human. D country's ambition of having several million babies by 2020 will be unnecessary as each and every single one of them can be replaced by SH alone. Malaysia Boleh!

Note: Yong is currently looking for sponsors (and a test subject) to begin the SH experiment. Please contact him if u r interested in helping M'sians create their very own superhuman or if u wan 2 volunteer as d superhuman yrself. Thank you.

Don't judge a book by its cover....

Yaay!!! One more paper 2 go!!! Woohooo!!!!

Did chem 2day. D invigilators were kinda staring @ me in a weird way...

Me (reality) : Wah....all d questions r so freakin hard! Better write more crap so dat @ least some parts might jz pop up in d answer scheme....

Wat d invigilators see : Wah....dis kid damn terror la....writing non-stop frm jz nw....must hv studied like shit....

Me (reality) : Argh!!! Wrote wrongly!!! Time 2 cross out all d answers & write again!!!

Wat d invigilators see : Fuyoo!!! Write so damn fast pulak!!! Ni tentu idea melimpah2!!! Scary!!!

Me (reality) : Aiya...wasted 2 much space potong2 answer....I nid a 2nd answer booklet....

Wat d invigilators see : 2nd booklet ah!!! Budak ni confirm dapat CGPA 4.0!!!


Dis situation proves dat looks can surely b deceiving....don't judge a book by its cover....LOL!!!!

Sunday 27 April 2008

Am I Crazy???

D last 24 hours was super weird & crazy!!!

After econs test, I flagged down a cab & went 2 HELP uni, D'sara.
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Went 2 c my schl's debate team....we were all noisy2 like long lost buddies!!!
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They won d 1st round!!! Wooohoo!!!!
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Followed d girls bak 2 their hostel 2 sibuk (typical me). Out of no where, we got a call frm JX. He didn kno hw 2 get out of HELP!!!! He seriously needed HELP (pun intended) so I went all d way jz 2 "jemput" him.
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Sharvina, Lee, Aisyah, & I went 2 McD whr I had dunno hw many refills of Sprite (I paid 4 it, rite?!). JX left us 2 go c his frenz.
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We got a call frm JX.....
JX: Yong....do u hv any phn nmbers of taxi agencies 2 call? Whr r u guys?
Me: McD!!! (hears noisy background on JX's side). Whr r u?
JX: I've been waitin 4 a taxi for sooooo long!!!! They all simply sped past me!!!!
Yong: (curious) Erm....whr exactly r u waitin 4 d taxi???
JX: Oh, tepi the highway.
Yong: (Giggles & snorts) Ok.....good luck then....bye....
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D whole freakin McD was filled wif our noisy chatter & laughter making ketupat, sharing weird jokes, & laughing @ JX...lol....
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Went 2 Pizza Hut, courtesy of Ckgu Rosma'inah & Ckgu Mazlin!!! Free food!!! Took quite some time 4 d damn waiter 2 giv us d menu & take our order. Talk about "fast" service.

Me: We wan dis, and dis....bla3...
Waiter: OK....anytin else?
Me: Can we upgrade d pizza 2 stuffed crust pls?
Waiter: (mumbling) Im sorry....we cant do dat...we're out of stringy cheese...
Me: (Did i hear dat wrongly?) Wat?!
Waiter: (repeats d damn sentence)
Me: Nvm then....(fuming)

Wat kinda Pizza Hut branch can say they "Do not hav any more cheese left"??? Mengarut la!!!!
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Slept @ JX's room @ 3+a.m. D others simply went non stop w/out sleep. Freaks.
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Woke up all noisy & chattery as usual....had b/fast, kutuk2 & buli2 JX (we called him 'baby')...
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Went 2 d 2nd round debate. D opp. was damn aggresive. He POI-ed & stood up dengan penuh b'semangat, flailing & pointing his arms ervywhr....scary!!! We lost anyway cos our points weren't nice enuf....wat do expect when we got d Government side?
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The one-sided motion was: This house believes that we would imprison pregnant women who are smoking. @ 1st look, u'll tink: "Oh....we cn talk bout the bad effects of smoking, etc...." until u realise that the opponent can say "Why dun imprison men then?" On the other hand, d opposition can talk bout human rights, alternative methods, etc......haiz -_-
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Ate lunch wif them, took secret recipe cakes & imported grapes....then rode a bus bak. D guys (thx 2 d tchr) skipped d darned closing ceremony & went shopping @ SOGO instead....lol....

Yeah, I kno, dis post's boring & long....I'm like a semi zombie w/out sleep, studying Chem....thx 4 reading anyway....

Wednesday 23 April 2008

Exams!!!

Sry 4 d l8 upd8....itz exam week!!!! Argh!!!!

Feel kinda bored studyin 4 2moro's exam so I tot I'd write a poem....

As boredom drains the soul,
What's left is to be untold,
The worst fate to fall on a teen,
Who is forced to consume aspirin,
As our body is stabbed every inch,
By unstoppable pain making us flinch,
When shall our sorrow be over?
Freedom's nothing but a faint glimmer,
We run, stumble, crawl towards the end,
With souls merely in fragments,
No energy left but a tiny portion,
Shopping malls long reduced to oblivion,
What menace can cause such calamity?
Killing students with unrivaled tenacity,
It's nothing but an mere examination,
A mere word bringing so much distruction....


Err...I cant reli tink of a title....any suggestions? Post it on d C'box!!! Pls & tq!!!

Wednesday 16 April 2008

Dude in DISTRESS !!!

Yeah......yeah.....I kno d title sounds like a remake of d popular phrase "damsel in distress".

Take note:
i) Im nt a 'damsel'.
ii) Im nt experiencing d typical "Damsel in distress" scenario whr I'm threatened by the monster/antagonist & sum1 nids 2 save me.
iii) Im nt as useless as the b**ches in fairytales are...

But:
i) I reli nid help now!!!
ii) I reli nid a protagonist now!!!
iii) I am in distress!!!

Here's d situation:

Date: 15/04/2008
Time: 8.00 p.m.
Witness: Hsemate No. 2
Synopsis:

Hsemate No. 1 calls me from d hall. I sense a weird tone in her voice. Did i do sumtin wrong? Did she notice dat Mr. over-obsessive-neat freak didn bother 2 throw away d rubbish??? Argh!!!

She stares @ me 4 a while. Opens her mouth 2 speak. Asks "R u ok?".
Me: "Yeah....why?" -watz wrong wif me???-
Hsemate 1: "Coz....u look weird...."
Me: "Huh??" -watz wrong?!-
Hsemate 1: "Coz....."
Me: -Come on! Say it! Watz wrong?!-
Hsemate 1: "I've notice dat u're kinda different this week.....u dun seem so noisy....."
Me: -cheh....datz d problem.....-
Hsemate 1: "R u sick?"
Me: "No la....notin wrong wor...."

And then....the plain fact struck me!!! Dat explains why i was so lembik2, no energy, bored, tired, silent, totally not Yong!!! I realised dat my greatest fear has struck me.

1) My family is so freakin far away in Kemaman....
2) My frenz r all @ kampung due 2 study week....

No frenz/family = ALONE!!!

Any1 hu knows me knows dat i hate, despise, dislike, & fear being alone!!! Argh!!! W/out my friends & family, Im totally drained of energy. Even typing dis hurts my fingers. I cant O2jam. I cant play any games. I cant study. I wanna cry. I wanna commit suicide but im 2 drained 2 do anytin.

So, 2 any frenz readin these, this is a desperate call 2 u guys/gals. Come bak A.S.A.P!!! I cant live w/out my frenz. Even if it means being tortured in lectures @ uni, I'd rather c my frenz than live alone....pls...

Monday 14 April 2008

Bye2 Mr. Ong.....

So sad....exams r coming.....Mr Ong's going....anyway, here's a bunch of pics i've posted "in memory of" Mr. Ong....


Standing on chairs.....(shouldn't d students be punished, not d lecturer???)



Struggling 2 roll d rosak projector screen up...(he claims dat our uni isn't goin 2 fix it)



Never kedekut ilmu....always checking our tutorials....



Acting like a freakin kid....



But dun mess wif him or u'll end up sorry....



Well, I guess it's goodbye here.....bye2 Mr. Ong....how we wish u won't quit UTAR....

Sunday 6 April 2008

Da JPA Interview....

Ya, ya, I kno ppl'll say I'm bragging....but, I luv d interview!!! Reli!!! If I can, I wud do it again & again & again & again....

7a.m. Wake up... -yawn-

7+a.m. Eat @ my favourite mamak....1st time i actually ate sumtin like a thosai wif potatoes in it...

7++a.m. Left 4 Putrajaya. Im so lucky 2 hv my parents sendin me all da way.....

8+a.m. Reached P'jaya. I wonder why da heck d Gov wants 2 set up their offices in d middle of nowhere???

9a.m. Reached d conference centre. D interview's scheduled @ 10a.m.

9+a.m. Chatted wif other ppl in d same batch as me. We're in d 3rd batch (d last!). Turns out we're all PTS students. Yippee!!! BTW, I saw d list n thr was berpuluh2 PTS students attending d interview!!! Cool....

11+a.m. We kena sound by d person frm d registration table cos we were chattin 2 loudly. Imagine la....d 2nd batch still tengah interview inside yet we alredi start 2 pokpek loudly outside bout d gov.....PM....election...etc....sampai got ppl say we 2 loud liao...lol ^_^

12+? 1+? a.m. Finally....we got into d freakin room! Managed 2 surprise my frenz (ya, we alredi kno each other) & d interviewers when I introduced myself in Malay....haha....so mengada....Then we had a discussion bout d role of families in preventing social problems. I kinda found d discussion nice cos we did it in a relaxed way, not a debate kinda way since we alredi got 2 kno each other outside. D only problem was dat my chair (only) kapt making these weird farting noises. So malu la....

Went out, smiled @ each other, & said good bye. Argh!!! I 4got 2 take their contact details!!! I reli hope I get 2 c them again in d future!!!

Thursday 3 April 2008

Parrots....

To whom it may concern:

You know who you are,
A student who deserves to be barred,
Merely an annoying parrot,
Repeating what's been said like an idiot,
Though others deserve to say something,
Every time we hear you repeating,
When others have found the answer,
It's you who fights to shout louder,
Does it make u look smarter or dumber?
Stealing other's original answers?
Yelling loudly, bullshit-ing constantly,
As if you came up with the answers initially,
I seriously want to lend you some pity,
Lacking the brain to think properly,
But unfortunately, my disgust overwrites everything,
Obviously, the others also find u annoying,
Can it be pure coincidence?
You repeating our answers after mere seconds?
Or is it your super-fast reflexes?
Trained to replay every sentence?
How I long to unite your ass with my kick,
But just seeing you makes me extremely sick,
False smiles pollute my day,
How I wish u'll b sent away,
Remove this eyesore from us UTARians,
Restore peace, exterminate this contamination,
We'll voice our thoughts, knowledge to be gained,
Not by some parrot pretending to possess a brain.

 

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