Super Humans !!!!

I was eatin lunch in front of d TV (ya, I hv one in my room :P ) when i noticed sumtin. D noon slot is filled wif soooooo many commercials targeting us homo sapiens!!!! Seriously, I was so annoyed by the endless claims by these lying companies that we will be smarter, prettier, thinner, safer, and so on by using their damned products. So, inspiration hit me & I came up wif dis idea:

Super Human (SH)

1) Since young, SH has been supplied wif all sorts of milk powder...oops, I mean, super-enriched-contains-everything-child formula. With Immunofortis, DHA, over-saturated calcium, iron, taurine, & evrything they can throw in, our dear young SH will definitely grow up as a super smart infant who can do algebra in its brain within microseconds with a super muscular, Arnold Schwarzenegger-like body.

2) SH takes all sorts of supplements. This includes several brands of disgusting cod liver oil , multi-vitamins wif all sorts of vitamins ranging from A to Z in them, washed down SH's throat wif special "Special Water" which supposedly contains minerals & dissolved salts but not a single germ thanks to the super expensive filters' countless filtration stages. SH is a super healthy kid with no vitamin deficiencies whatsoever. Doctors will find not a single bacterium or germ in the kid's blood because the kid is so freakin pure.

3) SH has complete 24-hour protection. Firstly, the milk SH drinks has all sorts of "special", "unbelievable", "scientific breakthrough" ingredients which manufacturers claim 2 boost SH's immunity. Secondly, SH has been thoroughly immersed in a variety of anti-bacterial soap & shampoos to the extent that SH has so-called 24-hour shields hovering around it, killing any bad bacteria within a 1 km radius. SH does not know d definition of "sickness". SH's exceptional immunity aura allows it to help its mum kill any weeds in the garden just by walking near the weeds. Termites are non-existent in the house.

4) SH has been sent to the best school, the best tuition centre, any place which SH's parents can cram into SH's schedule. Mental arithmetics, abacus, arts, music, ballet, drama, singing, etc.....SH can do them all!!! Every1 can c SH from kilometers away due to its huge brain hovering above it. Looks like all those classes, tuition, and camps coupled with the excess DHA from d supplements paid off.

5) As SH matures, SH is sent to every beauty expert. SH is the only living teen in the world w/out a single pimple or a millimeter of fat. Wrinkles? No...SH's blood contains more Botox than red blood cells.... SH has flawless hair thanks to the plethora of shampoos SH uses. SH has no frizzy hair, zero hair fall, unlimited protection against the sun, and super lustrous & shiny hair which is stronger than steel chains.

So....by using the countless products in commercials which I watched within mere minutes, I hv created SH, the M'sian super human. With flawless looks, brains, and health, SH is definitely the perfect human. D country's ambition of having several million babies by 2020 will be unnecessary as each and every single one of them can be replaced by SH alone. Malaysia Boleh!

Note: Yong is currently looking for sponsors (and a test subject) to begin the SH experiment. Please contact him if u r interested in helping M'sians create their very own superhuman or if u wan 2 volunteer as d superhuman yrself. Thank you.